turning a corner...

I took the weekend off. I hung out with some friends.
We ate like pigs, slept late, had some shopping time and ate some more...
I even went to one of my favorite Italian chains and ate an entire basket of bread....It was sooooo tasty. But as I was eating it, I was mentally calculating how much treadmill/elliptical time I would have to do....

But still, I ate it....

and it felt gooooooood. I did NOT drink any alcohol though :)

That being said, I took two whole days off of my workout routine. As a result, I missed it. I mean I MISSED IT. As in, I'm walking around the stores, looking at clothes that I couldn't fit into, and was thinking, "I should be in the gym..."

So I was back in the gym yesterday and today....and I felt much better sweating than I did shopping. Seriously.

And you know what's even better than a weekend off?
Coming home to your husband who missed you :) ----he even told me that he could tell that I was losing weight, especially in my face :-)--and that wasn't even getting-lucky-flattery!

Am I losing weight? I don't think so. But I am so much stronger now that I was before...
I would REALLY like to see my flabby belly just disappear. Like completely. And instantly.
But you know that ain't gonna happen....Permanent changes require, demand, lifestyle changes. And that's what I'm doing. I'm changing how I think, how I eat (this weekend not withstanding...) and how I exercise....

So mentally, I feel like I've turned a corner. I feel like I'm stronger, both physically and mentally. I wanted to see a number shift on that scale this week. My trainer is going to measure me next week. I'm nervous about that. But today, he made my day. I raised my flouncy t-shirt that I use to hide my fat from public viewing (as if that damn shirt will convince ANYONE that I am not the Chubster that I am...Ha!) well, I lifted my shirt and showed him how I "felt" skinnier and he gasped and said, "YOU ARE!" I could tell he was surprised. That made me feel good, because he saw me the very first time I came into the gym, soft as a marshmallow and wincing from lifting my own fat arms. Seriously! The first session included doing flies with just my arms, no weights, and I was SO sore the following day. From lifting my own fat arms. Now? I can do so much more! Plus my arms are toning up!! (It's REALLY hard to admit that....)

My goals are the same: to be healthier. Skinnier would be nice, but not the end goal. But it wouldn't be awful if I ended up looking like that Hot Wife that other women just hate :)
You ladies know what I'm talking about....

Now, I'm thinking about going to the gym again tonight....but I can't, it's "Biggest Loser" night in our house, which we watch as a family. Every week, I am inspired by these people. They're REAL and I love that show. I am so lucky that my husband will watch it with me.

Tomorrow: extended cardio AND my own personal weigh-in. Maybe I'll do another photo. The visual really speaks to me. Usually it says "Eeeewwww gross." But I'm trying to look at how much I'm CHANGING.....(I hate the word "change" now since it was hijacked...but don't get me started!)